One weird trick for avoiding jet lag

You’re not going to like it

Time zones of the world (Credit: Goran tek-en)

In the interest of balance, and after saying far too many nice things about him in yesterday’s newsletter, consider this: my Dad claims not to “believe in jet lag”. Like so many boomer men — the type who enjoy little more than grabbing strangers off the street, pointing to their snowy roofs and extolling the virtues of loft insulation — he will instantly change his watch to the time at the destination and then proceed as if already there. It is intensely irritating, not least for my mother.

I wanted to write this piece on the plane. I mean, I had the time. But despite being a famously long-haul airline, Qantas’s Airbus A380s do not have Wi-Fi onboard, let alone super-fast Starlink. So here I am, bleary-eyed, dry-throated and thoroughly disenchanted with Western civilisation, bashing out a few hundred words on a subject dear to my circadian rhythm.

Qantas A380 (Credit: BriYYZ)

Heavier-than-air flight has been around for well over a century, since the Wright brothers covered 120 feet (37 metres), or roughly half the length of the aforementioned A380. But the term ‘jet lag’ is pleasingly modern. Or, at least, modernish. The Smithsonian’s Air and Space magazine tracked the first usage of the term to a 1966 Los Angeles Times article, which included the line:

If you're going to be a member of the Jet Set and fly off to Katmandu for coffee with King Mahendra you can count on contracting Jet Lag, a debility not unakin to a hangover.

History lesson aborted — we’re all trying to stay awake here. I won’t pretend to be a leading authority but, as someone who travels between London and Sydney with alarming regularity, consider a few tips I’ve picked up en route, including The Big One that will engender all manner of eye-rolling.

1. Sleep when you’re tired

Don’t strategise. Don’t be a hero. Particularly on super long-haul, 12-hour-plus flights, if you feel sleepy, lean (or recline) into the joy.

2. Take sleeping aids

Thank you, captain obvious. But the trick is when to take it, by which I mean for goodness sake not when you’re already tired. Save it for when you wake up at midnight, having fallen asleep naturally at 9pm. That way, you’ve got every chance of making it to the start of the Today Programme (or a similarly infuriating, foreign equivalent).

3. Be stressed

Spend time with family, attend the League Cup final, read up on the latest antisemitic arson attack. Whatever you need to keep yourself from snoozing throughout the day.