Politicians who can't perform politics

Won't make a decision? Can't work a room? Funny but only in private?

During a heroically misspent youth, I worked for two Members of Parliament. The first, shall we say, did not like people and was at times hysterically uncomfortable around constituents. The second genuinely enjoyed the company of others, revelled in the gossip of the team room and effortlessly came across as human on television. While neither rose to particular prominence, you’ll never guess who was the superior politician.

Legendary commentator and broadcaster Anthony Howard once observed that the politicians journalists most admire are the ones who “make a splash and cut a dash”. Howard cited Nye Bevan, who used his oratorical skills on the platform and in parliament. Harold Macmillan, who exuded effortless calm and amused detachment on television. And Iain Macleod, who was a sharp and combative Commons performer, even if he “wasn’t much good on telly.”

The point is, you don’t have to be Bill Clinton or Tony Blair and have it all. Nor is possessing an easy charm or flashy character a guarantee of success — just ask Jonathan Aitken. But, Howard warns, “to go into politics and not have any of the showman qualities… is taking a very high risk.”

Learn your trade

Take politicians who can’t give a speech without either swallowing their words or sending their audience into a torpor. On the one hand, so what, cry the pearl-clutchers? Speeches don’t improve the lives of citizens, only hard graft, legislation and delivery can. On the other hand, if you are a politician, speech is your trade!

Whether in the Commons, on TV or short-form video, if you can’t get across who you are, what you’re doing and why people ought to care, that’s a fairly large gap in your repertoire. Sure, political commentators loved to dismiss Blair as an “actor”, but making people feel a certain way — assured in a time of crisis, optimistic in a time of doubt — these are the essential skills of leadership.

Yes, Clement Attlee managed it. Well done to him, all it took was serving as deputy prime minister in a successful world war during the pre-television age. If you just want to be a quiet administrator, doing public good in the background while close to events, there is an entire cottage industry for that. It is called the civil service. With rare exceptions, civil servants never have to appear on television, interact with the public¹ or exude any kind of charisma to get ahead.

Hilarious behind closed doors

I’ve lost count of the number of times I’ve heard sources close to the prime minister assure me that, no no, he or she is terrific fun, indeed the life of the party in private and why oh why can’t they transmit that in public: Gordon Brown, Theresa May, George Osborne.

For the latter, I know this to be true. For May, sorry, it just isn’t — the woman is preternaturally incapable of small talk. But either way, you are in a public-facing leadership role — you get no credit for being secretly gregarious!