The worst boss I ever had (and a few runners-up)
A tour through the minefield of toxic management styles
If this were an article for The Economist, it would have to build up to a broader point. Perhaps how Britain’s hopeless middle-managers are a drag on growth, innovation and productivity. For Jacobin, how the wretched boss class is evidence that the final breath of neoliberalism is nigh. Or for The Daily Express, how line managers in Swindon are being encouraged to use the ‘feedback sandwich’ technique with Princess Diana as the positive. But this is Lines To Take.
Prior to launching this newsletter, I spent the best part of 15 years working for other people. A rough estimate suggests that included around a dozen line managers across the public and private sectors. I’m sure you can appreciate that, unless I have something nice to say, all names and employers will remain anonymous.
Before we begin, an important caveat. On graduating from university, I was wholly unprepared for the world of work. Not just that I was expected to show up during the summer months, but I did not even know how to use Microsoft Outlook or talk to people on the phone. There are some things that Michel Foucault cannot prepare you for.
It could have been worse, of course. I didn’t accidentally email a spreadsheet containing the personal details of almost 19,000 Afghans who had worked with Western forces to an account outside of the Ministry of Defence, leading to an unprecedented super-injunction and a scramble to save lives at a cost of £7bn. Nevertheless, I was no middle-manager’s dream.
The always too busy manager
Strategically timing emails for when they might actually open them. Accidentally-on-purpose bumping into them in the kitchenette to nudge them into remembering you exist. Spending more time wondering when you can chase them for a response (once a day? A week? A quarter?) than actually doing your job. If you were chatting to them on a dating app, you’d conclude they just weren’t that into you and move on. But you can’t — they’re your boss!
The low emotional intelligence manager
Why try to foster trust, collaboration and engagement when you can do public scolding, conflict and complete lack of self-awareness? A particular favourite was when things went badly, blame would be liberally distributed. But when they went well, it was like, “Why?” And not in the “Good job, team! Let’s learn lessons from this tremendous success we’ve all enjoyed over matcha ice cream” way, more like suspicion. If you ever want to provoke me, just say to me: “Don’t drop the ball.”
The always changing their mind manager
Long ago, I was less adept at biting my tongue in the face of other people’s inconsistencies. On being told a piece of work I produced had not matched what was asked of me, I immediately shot back: “It may not be what you wanted, but it is what you asked for.” I don’t want to be 22 again, but I do occasionally admire my younger self’s gumption.
Of course, when your manager does not know what they actually want, it means you have to do the same piece of work over and over again. All while knowing that whatever first attempt you produce, no matter how closely it followed the brief and regardless of quality, will not be right. And it will always be your fault.
The divide and rule manager
They hate the idea that you go for drinks with your colleagues and actively seek to prevent it. They try to move you to different floors — even entirely separate buildings — so you cannot easily communicate (or, as they might view it, scheme). Information is deliberately not shared, to the detriment of the work. All with the aim of making collective action impossible and preventing talented subordinates — who pose the greatest risk to their power — from pushing them out.
The make you so miserable you quit manager
Why bother going through the legal minefield that is the formal redundancy process when you can just make your employees so unhappy — often by taking away most of their responsibilities — that they leave of their own volition?
The do less, but better manager
But could you do these 17 new things first?
The best place I ever worked
In strict employer-employee terms, it was the Treasury. There was a culture of challenge — that is, junior people were encouraged to speak up in meetings with their boss’s boss. A culture of giving due credit — lots of emails would begin with “With thanks to X, Y and Z for their work”. And I had a standing weekly meeting with my line manager, which could last anywhere from 90 seconds to an hour and a half, depending on whether there was anything to discuss.
In many ways, I’ve been exceptionally fortunate. I wouldn’t wish working for a truly mean-spirited manager on anyone. It knocked my confidence, forced me to prioritise my own well-being and, ultimately, made it a relief to move on. But, like working in retail or chief secretary to the treasury, everyone should do it once.
Because whoever and whatever follows — the narcissist, the incompetent or just the plain lazy — will not touch the sides compared with what you’ve been through. And, with notably rare exceptions, everywhere I’ve worked I’ve felt that my opinion was sought and, if not totally crazy, acted upon. I’m aware this is not always the norm.
What about you?
If you’d like to share your most toxic manager experience, consider the comment section a safe space.
I worked at one location but spent every Saturday morning at a branch in a different town covering a colleague who was sick for a month. The assistant manager of my weekday branch would ring me on a Saturday demanding to know about something that had gone wrong that week, ending the call with ' I'll see you about this on Monday ' thus ruining the rest of my weekend as l spent it worrying, and that clearly was his intention as on the Monday the problem had cleared up.
It was the last straw as I went to the most senior manager l could and unburden myself of this and other examples. I didn't realise how much l had been effected as l felt powerless as l was so long down the chain.
However the senior was lovely, l was told my colleague emerged from the seniors office white as a sheet and I never had anymore problems.
The "I so desperately want to be your mate, except when..." boss archetype. Aside from the Brent-esque cringing nature of a manager who is overly keen to be involved in your personal life, spend time with you outside of the office, think its acceptable to make "banterous" comments that only those who have known you for 15+ years of life can make (and even then, only after they have gone through stringent approval processes). Aside from all of that, the worst part is that they demonstrate all this mostly over-friendliness except when they decide to draw and use the "I am your boss" card and try and pull rank over you. Can often be linked back to when you mistakenly fool yourself into thinking the relationship is truly two way and dare to make a joke at their expense.