Everything's terrible, except these 47 things
A short, sincere inventory of what's holding me together
Campos coffee. The smell of suntan lotion. The sound of Beagles yawning. The euphoria of removing ski boots. The peaceful transfer of power. Roger Federer’s forehand (2003-2007). Justine Henin’s backhand (really anytime). When the waiter says “excellent choice”.
Stephen Kotkin’s ‘dad’ jokes. This 1950 New York Times headline which includes the words ‘unrequited trade’. The first 40 minutes of Notting Hill. When you think of a good (terrible) pun. Playing Uno by the pool. Having a shower after the beach. Turning left on a plane (even in all-economy configurations).
“You have no new messages.” When Grandma would pick me up from school. When Grandpa would ask us “not to drag your feet” when the car went uphill. Butter. Robert Caro’s Master of the Senate. Taffy Brodesser-Akner’s Long Island Compromise. Taylor Swift’s assonance. This leg spin masterclass featuring Shane Warne and Rashid Khan:
Day trips. Surprise parties. Any opportunity to say you can’t compare stocks (e.g. Apple’s market cap) and flows (UK GDP). Dehumidifiers. Audiobooks. Minutes 53-60 of any mid-intensity exercise. The flood of happy birthday messages on Facebook, circa 2009–2014. The first gulp of water when you’re really thirsty. Feeling completely understood.
Vaccines. Japan. Any time I get to flaunt my Latin. Championship Manager 01–02. Effective altruists getting their asses absolutely handed to them post-Sam Bankman-Fried. The extra-long shadows at the height of British Summer Time. The view from Sydney’s Andrew (Boy) Charlton pool:
The final mile and a half of the Brighton to Eastbourne walk. When people show up. When people cancel before you have to. Catching the last Tube. “And it’s Tony Adams put through by Steve Bould, WOULD YOU BELIEVE IT?!” The unselfconscious screams emanating from primary school playgrounds.
The Hawksmoor’s scallops (charcoal-grilled, covered in breadcrumbs, doused in garlic butter and white port). Zushi’s sashimi tacos. Mom’s roast chicken. Dad’s enthusiasm. Cheap solar. Vintage Simpsons’ nighttime skies. Anytime I get an idea. This meme:
YouTube Premium. 1996. Deep dish pizza. Having friends who write books. The ability to mute words on text-based social media platforms. Marks & Spencer food halls. Kirsty Wark. Ringo Starr. Road pricing. Em dashes. The US-led international order.
And the time a sudden downpour meant the paper bag containing my shopping no longer retained the molecular structure of a paper bag and four separate people stopped to help me, including one person who parked his van, rolled down his window, handed me a plastic bag and drove off before I could even say “I love you”.
Special thanks to John Woods, who suggested this newsletter following my litany of complaints last Friday.
Everything's fine, except these 47 things
Pret coffee. Hire car pick-up (“You want a vehicle? From us?”) Slowed-down indie covers. Brand sentience. Open letters. Flat roofs. Undisclosed transfer fees. Busy roads in the middle of public parks. Actors (who presumably like their jobs) playing characters who hate theirs. Ironic shouts of ‘Come on, Tim!’ at Wimbledon a…
Feel free to share what makes you happy in the comments. Let’s get some peace and prosperity going into the weekend.
We live in the country and have an open field beyond our garden which is ploughed, harrowed and sown with a succession of crops every year, wheat, barley, sugar beet, etc. We watch the hares come out of the neighbouring wood in the Spring to do their mating fights (she knows when she is ready to mate and he doesn’t), munkjak deer graze on the fresh shoots of the crop, countless swallows use the electricity wires to rest from their endless swoops through the air gathering flys and midges.
Men in "short shorts" on the picture of Hands Across America (or anywhere actually), the diesel engine noise of a stationary ice cream van, a cold Pepsi on a hot day (other inferior brands are available), trusting that I no longer need to count the items on Jack's posts.
Have a great weekend :)