I'm exhausted

And this was a fairly light day

Bondi beach in the before times (Jack Kessler)

I had hoped that normal service might resume today. I woke up with a tight 600 words mentally typed out on the Trump administration’s unexpected suspension of the US-UK technology deal, signed only in September. I was particularly pleased with the subject line, which was to include what I still think is a terrific pun¹. And then I went for a walk.

First, I was greeted by one of those rental bikes with a swastika spray painted on its side. Then, as I walked past a Jewish school, I noticed several anti-Israel stickers had been affixed to nearby poles. It is important to some people that Jewish children in Sydney’s eastern suburbs know their view on a war involving an entirely unrelated set of Jews living thousands of miles away.

Next, I walked past a synagogue and couldn’t help but notice the police car stationed out in front. Just for reassurance, you know? Finally, I checked my phone and saw the news that Avner’s, a nearby Jewish bakery in multicultural and fashionable Surry Hills, had abruptly announced it was shutting down, after “two years of almost ceaseless antisemitic harassment, vandalism and intimidation.”

In the wake of the Bondi shootings, the owner, celebrity Jewish Australian chef Ed Halmagyi, revealed he could no longer guarantee the safety of his staff and customers. And this was a fairly light day.

I think the closure was particularly triggering for me, not only because Avner’s does great bagels and on Sunday Jews were gunned down nearby for being Jews, but because I was unfortunate enough to be sitting opposite a friend of a friend recently, who boasted about boycotting the bakery on the basis that it was “Zionist”.

To dispel any illusions, that was before he went on to refer to “the fucking Jews” and complain about his “rich Jewish boss”. At which point, I informed him I was Jewish. After shifting uncomfortably in his seat, his response was, no word of a lie, “I have lots of Jewish friends.” Which made me smirk. I hadn’t heard that one in a while.

I adore writing this newsletter. On my better days, I think I can create something of value. Something I’m proud of. Something that doesn’t make me cringe when my Dad tells everyone he meets that they must sign up to it, like I’m nine years old and it’s the Junior Gunners.

On my worst days, it has proved to be a wonderful distraction. No matter what else is going on in my life or which solicitor is refusing to reply to my emails, I get to dive headfirst into the subject of the day and whoosh! Hours have zipped by. What a gift. But today, I’m simply exhausted. My hunch is, you might be too. It’s not just Sunday’s horrific events — it’s the cumulative weight of the past two dreadful years.

The good news, if you’ve got this far, is that you’ve almost made it to Christmas. If you’re reading this in the northern hemisphere, the days will start getting longer in less than a week. And you are not a Brit in Australia while the England cricket team is racing headlong towards yet another Ashes whitewash defeat.