Robert Jenrick is as cringe in real life
I should know. I worked for him at the Treasury
Did I ever mention the time I worked for Robert Jenrick? This is not quite the incriminating revelation it may appear. As a junior Treasury official — first in public spending (trying and failing to bring fiscal stability to Northern Ireland) then tax (trying and failing to increase fuel duty) — I worked for a string of Conservative ministers.
Greg Hands was the embodiment of geniality, David Gauke a civil servant’s dream, Liz Truss a bit… weird. But it was Jenrick who I recall most vividly thanks to that most human of flaws: high ambition infused with intense mediocrity. Of course, a junior Treasury minister believing he or she is on course to become prime minister is hardly unusual.
It is a curious quirk of Britain’s uncodified constitution that up-and-coming MPs (Alistair Darling, Yvette Cooper, Rishi Sunak) are handed placements in the Treasury, usually as chief secretary, to really understand how the centre of government operates, before they go off to run their own spending department. It is as if being a junior HMT minister is the political equivalent of the theory that everyone ought to work in retail at least once in their lives.
Conversely, the role of Leader of the Commons has evolved into something like the Eastbourne of cabinet positions — that is, god’s waiting room for ministers who are sliding back down the greasy pole (Robin Cook, Chris Grayling, Andrea Leadsom).
Jenrick and me
Take the time I sat in on a phone call between Jenrick and Thérèse Coffey, then a minister of state at the Department for the Environment, about something simple but heroically tedious, probably red diesel1. Now, Coffey is no one’s idea of a generational political talent. Yet Jenrick was so unsure of himself or the policy that he made her sound like FDR giving a fireside chat.
Or how about a Commons debate for which I had contributed notes, and Jenrick kept prefacing everything he said in the chamber with “my officials have informed me” or “I have been assured” or words to that effect, as if he pre-emptively did not trust his civil servants to provide him with accurate advice.
Yesterday, Jenrick caused a stir by filming himself at Stratford Underground station, challenging fare dodgers. Now, this is actually a really good issue for a Conservative politician to campaign on — everyone hates fare dodgers. The practice eats away at the social contract, turbocharged by its sheer visibility. And while fare evasion in the capital is lower than in New York or Paris, it still costs the city around £130m a year.
The crackdown also works for the majority of non-Londoners (which, as I understand it, people from elsewhere in Britain like to be called). There is clearly political capital to be plundered in portraying the city as a dangerous hell-hole run by the “do nothing mayor2”, Sadiq Khan.
Indeed, a Conservative Party that promised to crack down on fare dodgers, mobile phone theft, shoplifting, American ‘Candy’ stores and the really big one — online fraud — would be doing frankly normie centre-right things. Of course, Jenrick has chosen a different path.
The one-time facsimile of Cameroonian politics has been on something of a rightward journey over the last few years, to the amusement of many. This culminated in his resignation from the government last year, where he criticised the Rwanda legislation for not going “far enough”.
After losing the leadership election to Kemi Badenoch, Jenrick has been engaging in a shadow contest. Most recently, he was seen having lunch with Rupert Lowe, expelled from Reform UK over allegations of misconduct, and a man who Nigel Farage had to tell not to use terms such as “repatriation” and “mass deportations”. In other words, Jenrick is dining with a man too right-wing for Farage.
What exactly is the strategy here? Other than ousting Badenoch and becoming leader of the Conservative Party, obviously. Though at this rate, such a promotion might represent something of a backward step from power. The new Leader of the House, as it were.
Note the America-brained language
Thank you! A particularly good read this morning!
Ooh do give us more insight to these useless politicians! Hilarious try at law enforcement from Jenrick, best career move ever (although I am behind stopping fare dodgers of course)