The delightful weirdness of American names

A very biased, very British ranking of Lyndon Johnson's supporting cast

Lyndon Johnson in his hippie phase, 1972 (LBJ Library)

As readers of this newsletter (and strangers on public transport alike) will be aware, I’m part-way through my second time around with Robert Caro’s magisterial, multi-volume biography of Lyndon Baines Johnson. My intentions are not wholly benign, having launched the operation in the hope that, by the time I finish book four, the long-awaited final instalment will be ready for publication.

Despite first impressions, I’m not completely lacking in self-awareness. I know the world needs another blokey retrospective on Caro, Johnson and the exercise of power like it needs another supply shock. So, in that spirit, I’ve tried to do something a little different. Somewhere I can really add value: opining on the delightful weirdness of American names.¹

Sure, when it comes to naming traditions, Britain has its foibles that may sound jarring to US ears, from the double-barrelled aristocratic variety to place names as surnames-turned-first names. But we don’t have anything on Johnson world.

Estes Kefauver — US Senator from Tennessee and 1956 Democratic vice presidential nominee

Estes Kefauver

Starting strong. It just sounds fantastic, doesn’t it? Etymologically, it’s fairly simple. ‘Estes’ was his mother’s maiden name (which, if widely followed, would have me called Diamond Kessler, aka my pimp name. Thank goodness we live in more enlightened times.)

Meanwhile, ‘Kefauver’ is thought to be an Anglicised form of the German surname, Kiefhaber, from Middle High German “kifen” (to “gnaw”) and “haber” (“oats”). I also like it because it reminds me, phonetically at least, of Sandy Koufax, the Hall of Fame baseball pitcher and one of the greatest Jewish athletes² in US history.

Leland Olds — Chairman of the Federal Power Commission

Leland Olds (Library of Congress)

One of the downsides of rereading Caro after more than a decade is violently remembering what (or, to be precise, with whom) you were doing the last time Lyndon Johnson tore into poor Leland Olds.

Olds was denied a second term as chair of the FPC, following a series of hearings led by subcommittee chair Johnson, who made false accusations that Olds was a communist or communist sympathiser. Still, a terrific name.

Bobby Baker — one-time Senate page and advisor to Johnson

Just the most Leave It to Beaver, post-war American boys’ name imaginable. No notes.

Horace Busby — journalist, speechwriter and all-round Johnson confidant

Horace Busby

Despite what I said Friday about Latin, it’s hard not to like a guy called Horace. That his middle name is Wooten and nickname “Buzz” is only icing on the onomastic cake.

McGeorge Bundy — US National Security Advisor

McGeorge Bundy (LBJ Library)

Aged around nine, I asked my Dad why Peter Schmeichel wasn’t called Peter Michael. His answer was words to the effect of “Well, why aren’t you called Jack Esler?” Which was, I suppose, an improvement on what he must have been thinking, which is “My only son is an idiot.”

All of which is to say, by the time I got to McGeorge and my mid-twenties, I didn’t bat an eye.

Harold Ickes — 32nd (and longest-serving) US Secretary of the Interior

Pronunciation being the decisive factor here. Ickes is ICK-eez, which makes it sound almost cartoonishly childish. A cross between “yikes” and “sneeze” with the word “ick” right there in the stem. Simply a hoot and a half.